Tabula Rasa

If you are reading this post and are well versed in Latin (unlike me) then you know what this post will be referring to. The phrase Tabula Rasa means "clean slate." I will get back to why this was a HUGE sign from the Universe and my angels towards the end. It is funny, "not funny" that I would be guided to this exact phrase 4 years later after first hearing it. If you have read my previous blogs, especially the one about the Twin Flame Journey, it will connect to that too. After knowing and experiencing the Twin Flame Journey from July 2019, I can confidently say that everything comes full circle. So, to recap, there I was going into a new job in 2017 feeling happy, confident, fulfilled (or so I believed to be), and cleared myself 100% of dealing with panic attacks and anxiety since college. I was on top of the world. Unbeknownst to me, I was being guided by my twin flame's higher self to finally come to the company where we would meet. This company also happened to be owned by his father and some other folks. I was led there by a friend and coworker from our previous job. We were auditors working for Optum Rx which was a well established company. I was also moving up the ranks very quickly in that company and had a great rapport with all of my colleagues and supervisors and managers. I also knew my time was coming to an end there due to my feeling and intuition. That intuition or feeling was always the same anytime I knew it was time to move to my next venture. When I was leaving, my manager asked me if I were sure about joining a "start up" company that had only been operating for 5 years. I said yes because I just knew in my heart it was the place I was supposed to be. I knew when I walked into the building and when I completed my interview. I FELT it was it for me. I could've panicked and let my manager get into my head, but I followed my heart. This leads me to quote a favorite Persian poet of mine who I later realized was a favorite of my twin flame's father when he quoted Rumi in one of our meetings. Rumi says, "Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray." He is absolutely right. Everytime. Now you may also be thinking, "well not always." I say, yes always. Even when you think it was for the worst, there is always a silver lining. There is always growth whether you see it at the time or not. The growth may show itself a little further down the road. So I followed mine and Rumi's guidance. It DID NOT lead me astray. It led me to the greatest love of my life and an amazing company filled with fun, new friendships, passion, growth, surprises and love. Well I met my Twin Flame of course and what a rollercoaster of a ride that was.

So I joined the company in 2017 and by then I had already been working "spiritually" on myself through yoga, meditations, full moon/new moon healings, studying crystals, astrology, mantras, visualizations, affirmations, the law of attraction and seeing MANY psychics. I mean seeing psychics was in my blood because from an early age I remember my mom going to see them and many Iranians also like to read from Turkish coffees. I also had experienced a few incidents throughout my life where "random" people would tell me I have a light around me and that I was also psychic. I would feel excited but also nervous because I felt that was a special gift. We all have these psychic gifts. We ALL DO. Whether it's clairvoyance (seeing images), clairsentience (clear feeling), claircognizant (clear knowing) and clairaudience (clear hearing). These gifts, when one is not tuned in, tapped in and turned on feels like an "out of the blue" occurrence. For most people these gifts or "special powers" get muddied and buried away deep inside. It is our own job or desire to work on bringing them back to life. We have never lost them, they are just dormant. So I had worked on all these things that led to my Twin Flame and I meeting and having met the most beautiful, loving, kind and warm hearted soul in my life. Being 36 at the time, he was definitely worth the wait. As described in my Twin Flame Journey blog, you both share telepathy and all senses are heightened upon coming together. I would just "know" certain feelings and things that were happening. I was having dreams about him and certain outcomes. One of my most memorable dreams happened around March of 2019. It also happened to be the month our company was suddenly acquired. The name of that company happened to be "Tabula Rasa." I heard what it meant at the time and never really gave it a second thought. I also KNEW that was the big change of something. So back to my dream and how synchronistic it was indeed. I was in a dark place, something like a place out of a movie. I was standing with my twin flame and he was wearing a sweatshirt. He asked me, "are you happy?" My response was "yes, but this can't be all there is." He then pulls his hoodie over his head and leaves without a goodbye, leaving me standing there and then I woke up. What ended up actually happening in real life was at the end of April of that year, him telling me he's leaving the company. It was like a prophecy coming true. I was devastated. Did I create this? Did I use my law of attraction and "special powers?" Either way, it was our destined path. It lead to unraveling many layers of "stuff" I didn't realize I still needed to work on. I mean is the work really ever done? We are always trying to work on ourselves as we continue to evolve. Aside from my emotional work (deep rooted, below the surface crap), there was codependency stuff with my family and most importantly finding ME. I wasn't lost per se, but it was to find out who I was REALLY was. Who my true AUTHENTIC self is and follow my TRUE passions and desires. So I want to emphasize how important it is to pay attention to ALL the signs and synchronicities. I have quoted my favorite Steve Jobs quote before but I feel the need to re quote it. He says, "Again, you cannot connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in the future. You have to trust in something - your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life." So when I was guided to watch a new series on Disney called "Once Upon A Time" just a few days ago, I know I'm connecting the dots. Why? Because when the boy is asked why he believes in the fairly tale, he replies "because this can't be all there is." Most importantly, after these past years of becoming a Reiki healer, working with spirit, doing Tarot readings and speaking about my journey, I was finally ready to go into mediumship. Even though mediums are channels through which departed loved ones can make contact, it is also the channel to get psychic information for others through their angels, higher selves and messages for their highest and greatest good. I was also practicing mediumship through my reiki and readings. So when I say things come in full circle, it was in my mediumship class last week where our teacher spoke the words "Tabula Rasa" and I was jolted. She even told the audience it meant clean slate. There it was. Everything that happened when our company was acquired and after my dream. We were given a "clean slate." A new chance to find out that there really was way more to life but we had to go and figure it out for ourselves. We were all given a clean slate and my Twin Flame's and my higher self took it and "ran." I quote ran because it's funny that it's meant both figuratively and literally because in the journey there is a "runner." That runner is just essentially taking one for the team since he or she is only mirroring what the other has got going on inside.

Now this is the part where I leave you with my final thoughts. The journey of this life, whether you believe it or not, is meant for you to have FUN. To connect with life outside of the normal. To see how the spirit world is there with you guiding you and showing you the magic all around. Please don't try to take life so seriously. SERIOUSLY, don't. Slow down and take in the worlds beauty one day at a time. Look for the good inside yourself and give others the benefit of the doubt. Know that everyone has a battle within we have no clue about. Help others as much as you can. Try to bring sunshine into other people's lives even if it's just with a smile. This life has its ups and downs and only you can navigate your ship through the choppy waters and get yourself and maybe others to clear waters ahead. There ARE clear waters ahead. Just like the rainbow that appears after the storm. Just like the light that illuminates the darkness. Find your BLISS. Find YOUR happy because it may not look like someone elses. Be TRUE TO YOU. Your life has meaning and purpose. You just need to dig deep to find it. You may also need to wander a bit, or maybe longer than a bit, but who cares anyway. It's your life. Always remember, in the words of J.R.R Tolkien, "not all those who wander are lost." You are simply a soul in search of your freedom.