No Longer A Victim

I understand that this post may trigger others, but it's necessary to understand that we are not victims of injustice. We are completely responsible for everything that we experience. I have touched on the topic of how the Law of Attraction works many times and this is no different. Since as early as I can remember, I have been watching and observing people and events around me. Always studying and wondering how the processes of life works and why certain people act the way they do. I was like a sponge, always absorbing information and actions I observed. I also was never aware of how the law of attraction worked. What I remember growing up hearing and observing is that most of the people around me were always blaming other people, things, or events for what was happening to them, mostly negative experiences. I, of course, spent a good amount of time throughout my adolescence and early adulthood doing the same. I mean, why would our ego allow us to believe that we are in full control of what happens to us. The ego is a sneaky beeatch. We are responsible. As soon as you allow this to sink in, you will understand that everything that happens to you is a reflection of what you are thinking and feeling. Why do we feel like we want to blame others or make excuses for the negative things that happen to us? I suppose it's because growing up we were taught that doing something bad or something bad happening equals consequences. I never grew up with a religious background but I was surrounded by friends that went to church. I remember a dear friend of mine that used to go to church every week with her family and I'm almost certain she was going as duty to her family. She used to tell me that she would have to talk to her priest in confession and talk about all the "sins" she committed. She may have even mentioned a certain number that was required from her and then she would have to repent her sins with various acts outside of church. To me, back then we were in elementary school, I thought this sounded screwy. I mean why must a child think of all the ways he or she was bad? Then have to pay a price for it. We all grow up doing things that may or may not be deemed as acceptable by parents, society or the church. The upside is that we learn from our mistakes. It may take time but we do ultimately learn. The punishment doesn't always solve the issue. In fact it leads to all sorts of problems later on in our adulthood. We no longer are able to just admit that the reasons for our shortcomings were solely on us. I remember a family member always blaming someone or something for the reason why something undesirable happened. If she was late it was because of all the traffic lights or slow drivers. If someone upset her, it was because the clerk/person was rude to her. There was always something or someone. It was very hard for me to not want to break down and tell her to stop blaming others for what was happening to her and take responsibility. There are people who just can't "hear" or understand this concept. You are the only person that can allow anyone or anything to disrupt your peace. Once you realize that you're the only one in control, life becomes easier to live and maneuver through.

When I was living in Florida I met a man that had a lot to say about a lot of things. We will call him Fred. I obviously attracted him into my life because something inside me reflected that in him. He was also meant to trigger me in many different ways and I him. I was also meant to heal my triggers and help heal him as well. I remember having a discussion about one of our former colleagues in the restaurant we worked at together. I was telling him that I was friends with this person and that we used to hang out and explore other fun venues that expressed our love for food, music and whatever else. Once, I realized this person wanted more than just being friends, I slowly distanced myself and the Universe conspired to help me do so through certain events that I was part of. When Fred heard all of this, all he could do for the next 20 minutes was tell me how I was doing a disservice to that friend and all the ways I "led him on." He also told me that I should've known that my actions of hanging out with this person were leading him on. He also told me all the ways this person was experiencing hurt or disappointment. When I explained to him that everything he was telling me was not even close to what he thought, he was triggered more. I explained to him that I made it clear in the beginning that I had a person back home that my heart was tied to, Fred still didn't care. I then told him that if this friend thought all of that, then it was his own choice to go through it and that it had nothing to do with me. I explained that through this friendship, I was also able to help him heal some pre existing issues he was dealing with. No one can speak for others and what they are or not going through. NO ONE. Did I need to explain myself to Fred and convince him of all the ways that "relationship" was healing and helpful for both parties? No, but I did anyway. What I also told Fred, something not easy for tough guys on the outside like him to hear, was that everything he blamed me for and felt for that friend of mine was only a projection of all the feelings and hurt he has experienced throughout his own journey. I knew that and I wanted to help him understand that too and heal that part of him slowly. I was simply shining that light on part of the darkness he revealed through the experience of my friend. My friend was not the victim nor was I leading him down the path of sadness and misery. I also reminded Fred that if he himself experienced similar scenarios in his own life, then he had only himself to blame. He had the chance to make a conscious decision to leave the person that he felt was "leading him on." It was a gamble or some hope that maybe this could be the person for him. It wasn't and she (or he if it's the other way around) should not be blamed. You step up to the plate, sometimes you make it home and sometimes you strike out. Either way, you step up to the plate again and again in all aspects of your life. You take responsibility for all the great things that come into your life as equally as the not so great things. The key is knowing that. That key also opens you up to, in the words of "Aladdin", a whole new world. Don't you want to know and see that you are the sole creator of your life? Don't you want to know that only you are writing the script and the Universe around you supplies the players? The people that you consider "lucky" are the ones that know the laws of this game of life. They know that what they are thinking and feeling are helping move them in the direction of everything they want and desire. Sometimes they are taken on the beaten path and sometimes they are detoured. Either way, they know they are headed for greatness because they are responsible and they appreciate all the "players" that help conspire to bring them there. It all starts with you. It all starts when you release the victim mentality and break the shackles that you have entrapped yourself in. It all starts with having a loving conversation with yourself and asking why certain events make you feel the way you do. Once you are brave enough to look inside and heal those parts of you that need healing, you will truly start seeing that whole new world waiting for you.